Wednesday, December 9, 2020

Netflix Series A Love to Last

 


    Hey, welcome back to my blog guys! We had a public holiday today because of Pilkada, voting for the governor in other provinces, not in Jakarta but it was good because we got a holiday. I have been quite free in university lately and decided to watch a movie series from Netflix called "A Love to Last." 

    Honestly, I have been watching this for the past 2 weeks now and I already managed to finish 78 episodes. I really liked this because it was a story from the Philippines, it was different from the other drama stories that I used to watch. It is a story about love and what I really like is how the characters are portrayed, I really believe the cast for this show is really good, they were able to drive your emotions by their acting. This movie is actually about a family, A rich CEO, Anton gets left behind by his wife, Grace. He has 3 children and he has to take care of them since their Mom left them. Then a party planner from Good Events, Andrea works with him to plan a Tech Fair for his company. Soon After, he fall in love with Andrea. Anton the CEO of Celba decides to marry Andrea the party planner and co-owner of Good Events. Anton then marries Andrea after the kids accept Andrea as her step mom. Then there is a twist because Grace, her ex-wife decides to come back from the states. Grace is now trying to get back to Anton by buying shares in Celba, Anton's company. Grace says that she only wants to help Anton but let's see what happens.

Thursday, December 3, 2020

Social Media Study

 


Hey Guys, hope you guys are all healthy and happy! I just want to give you guys an update of what we did in writing fundamentals class yesterday. We were introduced to the idea of internet research. It is actually related to last week's class. In last week's class we learn't about case studies, this week the internet research assignment was related to case studies, we were given a social media entity which we had to do research on. We did this research as a team based on our break out rooms. Below attached are my teammates, they are Ameina, Naira and Rissa.


We were assigned to Google Plus and we had to create a powerpoint. We discussed and decided that we will have 4 main points of discussion and each of us will cover 1 point of discussion. I decided to take the part of background of Google Plus defining what it is, what its purpose and aims are. Rissa would explain its growth and expansion. Naira would talk about the financial decisions that Google Plus. Ameina would like to give advice to other company, something we gathered after doing research about Google Plus. Our group is smooth so far, we are doing our own sections and we will take a look at each other's work and give feedback to each other after. 

Thursday, November 26, 2020

Writing Case Studies (First Class after Midterms)

 


      Hi Everyone! Welcome back to my blog! Above is a screenshot for my Writing Fundamentals Class, our first class after Midterms. It has been a long 3 weeks without Writing Fundamentals Class. 

Yesterday we learn't about case studies and what makes a good case study. Our teacher showed us an example of a case study on Tik Tok but it was in a video form. The case study basically explained how Tik Tok was originally known as Byte Dance and it was originally made for lips-ing but then it grew all the way to sharing short videos. Now, Tik Tok is a monopoly in the video making industry. The case study also told us that Tik Tok was able to overcome its competitors vine and musically. Tik Tok makes a lot of money through advertisements and they also have very good artificial intelligence to recommend people what to watch. However, there are issues to regards to what they do with the data of the users and all that. Tik Tok can also create peer pressure among teens and might not be used in the right way, for example there was this viral video on Tik Tok which made fun of Indonesian policeman and it can be offensive to some people.




Stay Safe and Healthy ! 
Sudiksha Budhrani

Sunday, November 22, 2020

Writing a Press Release

 Hi Everyone! I am Sudiksha Budhrani... Today I will be sharing my forum assignment where I have to write a press release. The challenge this time is to make a boring, dull piece of A4 paper like document, into something fun and interesting. We had to write a press release, approximately, 250 words about a new course that will be opening at Binus International. The course that I choose was kitchen psychology. I tried making a video below which I have shared below. 


Tuesday, November 17, 2020

Baking Waffles

 Hi Guys, Welcome back to my blog.




Today I was craving for some waffles and decided to make them ! It came out really yummy like crispy on the outside but soft on the inside. I was really satisfied with the taste of the pancake. I ate it with diet ice cream so the ice cream is healthy and not very sweet. I got it from EZO Cheesecakes, and the one that I posted above is the Biscoff flavoured ice cream.  Just a tip, if you want your pancakes to be softer you can use breadflour instead of normal flour. I also made this pancake without egg, I used milk, breadflour, baking powder and salt.



Sunday, November 15, 2020

Twisted Diwali 2020

    Hi guys, welcome back to my blog. Yesterday, 14 November 2020 was Diwali or Deepavali. It is the Indian New Year also known as the festival of lights. This festival symbolises new beginnings, light over darkness and good over evil. Festivities usually last for 3 days and we usually visit our family members, have a feast usually in every house that we visit, visit temples, play and watch fireworks. Our houses are usually decorated with "diyas" which are small oil lamps made from clay. Diwali is actually celebrated because of the Hindu Lord God Rama and how he managed to return back to his village after 14 years of exile. On Diwali we usually eat vegetarian ( don't consume meat or eggs ) because prayers are going on so we want to be as pure as possible. We also have to eat at least 1 meal with 7 vegetables in the same meal of a belief it is to cast the evil eye. During Diwali, children and adults who are not married usually get envelopes fill with money from their elders. 

    

This year's Diwali has been pretty different because people do not need to dress up. People are just in their pajamas and wishing their family members on zoom. My family is really big because during Diwali I usually meet my grandma's family and grandpa's family for both my moms and my dads side. So it's really a lot of people that I usually meet and the parties are usually till late night about 3 am. This year I did not meet anyone, I stayed safe at home and met everyone on zoom. We played a lot of games and had fun. This Diwali has a different meaning because it taught me to activate my divine light and there is no need to waste money and make so much very big parties. Often the small and simple things in life can make you happy. 


Those pictures are my Dad's side of the family




These pictures are from my Mom's side of the family

Stay Safe Everyone ! 
Sudiksha Budhrani



Monday, November 9, 2020

First Mid Exam at Binus International

Midterm Exams !
 Image from: http://www.clipartpanda.com/clipart_images/
by-the-time-he-got-into-high-6879703


Hey guys! It is me again Sudiksha Budhrani! Welcome to my blog.. Today was my first take-home exam, because of the pandemic we cannot go to the university and do our exams face to face so our exam is online for this semester. Today was a very scary experience since it was my first university exam. We also had to write a 1200-1500 words essay for one of my courses Academic English 1 with only 1 days notice. We were given a total of 10 topics to choose from 5 were expository topics and 5 were cause and effect topics. There was a lot of pressure especially since I had to adapt to using turnitin and there was also this foreign website which I did not really know how to use. I was really worried wether or not I could finish the paper on time. I also had some anxiety like wether or not I submitted the document properly in the correct format or correct file name. I was so scared that I actually had to email my professor and asked his favour to check wether he received my paper just for the sake of my sanity. There was also so much pressure on me knowing that this specific paper was 20% of my GPA so I just had to do my best. 

I am going to attach my essay below for you guys who are interested to read it. Thank you so much for visiting my blog! I hope you guys stay safe and healthy! 
Sudiksha Budhrani

  SPONTANEOUS DECISIONS: WHY ARE THEY MADE                                                        1 

  AND WHAT ARE THEIR CONSEQUENCES                                                                  







Spontaneous Decisions: Why Are They Made and What Are Their Consequences      


          



By: Sudiksha Budhrani  / 2440043811

Faculty of Economics and Communications Binus International University

Professor: Mr Andrews Thren

9 November 2020













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There are 5 techniques in decision making which are rational, avoidant, dependent, intuitive, and spontaneous. Firstly, rational is when you logically think through your decisions before choosing in the end. Secondly, avoidant decision making is trying to avoid deciding for as long as you can. Thirdly, dependent decision making is asking the help and advice of other people before making a decision. Fourthly, an intuitive decision is a decision made based on your gut feeling. Lastly, a spontaneous decision is a quick and unthought decision. Spontaneous decisions are decisions without an exact plan in mind, it is something like just going with the flow and doing what feels right at that exact point in time. “Plans are an invitation to disappointment.” (Landy, Coil) I will be further explaining about spontaneous decision making, why they are made, and the consequences of making a spontaneous choice. 


First of all, spontaneous decision making gives us relaxation and it lessens stress. When you make a spontaneous decision, you go with the flow, you don’t have any expectations of the outcome and you are ready to accept whatever happens. Moreover, making a decision without thinking is not always bad because sometimes the decision can be made with your gut or your subconscious which rarely goes wrong. (Yu, n.d.) Spontaneous people are also less worried about life because they can move on in life without blaming themself for their hasty decision, they are also able to understand that life will proceed. Spontaneous people also believe that everything will happen under God’s will, everything will happen under his plan for us. No matter how much we plan, if it is not the best thing for us, it will not happen. People that do not plan the situation do not have any expectations of how the situation will turn out, which leads them in being less disappointed. They usually make decisions based on following their instinct, which sometimes can make more sense than using your brain. (Duczeminski, 2015)


Furthermore, spontaneous decision making makes people more creative. Spontaneous people do not limit themself to how society labels them or follow standards of the media. They are lost in their imagination, in their drama and fantasy of life. They are not scared of the judgments of the world because what they do is based on their passion and it is for themselves, 



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their happiness and not anyone else’s. (Duczeminski, 2015) Marc Chagall once said, “If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head, almost nothing,” We are so used to making a plan, following it, and expecting that everything happens as per what we want it to be. We don’t give space for our decisions and our choices to be creative because everything is very basic and usual. When you make a crazy decision, sometimes without even thinking, it is when you lose yourself in the opportunity around you. This does not limit you in what you do. Creativity is something special, it is magic that happens when you least expect. (Oppong, 2019)


Last but not least, spontaneous people are happier. They want to make the best out of every moment in their life and will grab every opportunity that comes their way. Moreover, spontaneous people are more resilient towards the mistakes of their decisions and are willing to take the next best step going forward. (Morewedge et al., 2014) “An average American makes 6,709 spontaneous decisions per year.” In addition to that, based on a study conducted by OnePoll, spontaneous people were 40% more content.” Further research also suggests that 56% of the 2000 Americans surveyed said that they have made an important spontaneous decision in their life and have been content with the result. Humans get bored easily and making an instant decision is the element of surprise in our life that creates that excitement which contributes to our happiness. Oftentimes, when something unexpected happens, people which are fast decision-makers usually look at it in a positive light which also makes them feel good. (Digitalhub | Surprising Percentage of People Feel Happier after Spontaneous Decisions - Digitalhub, 2020) 


On the contrary, making a spontaneous decision has its flaws too. I will discuss the consequences of making a hasty decision which includes an unpredictable or negative outcome and stress.


First of all, making a quick decision will lead to an unpredictable outcome which could be negative and lead to regret. When we decide without really thinking through the possible outcomes, we are not ready for what will happen. Although, people that make instant decisions argue that they will be happy with whatever the outcome is that only works if the outcome is 

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favorable. The real question is, what if the outcome is not what they desire or had in mind. They will blame themselves, feel regretful, and will not be able to move on from that 1 bad decision in their past. What is even worse is that they keep the grudge and continuously hate themselves because of that mistake they made in the past. (Anderer, 2020) For example, when someone gets a tattoo without thinking and they want to get it removed because they don’t like it. The experience of getting it removed can be very painful and remorseful. The removal of a tattoo with a laser can be very painful since it takes about five to 15 treatments to fully remove it. Of Course, there are pain-numbing creams and antibiotics but these only lessen the pain and do not fully remove the pain. (Nikishado & Nakajima, 2013)


Last but not least, making an unprompted decision will lead to stress. People often regret the decisions that they make without thinking it through. The negative outcome usually makes people feel stressed out. For example, someone makes a bet and he bets everything because he was obsessed with the money he could win and he does not think of the outcome. If he loses this bet which could be his home, all his money which he saved for the past 20 years. The situation will make him stressed and he would probably be thinking about how he is going to feed his family and where they are going to stay which can make him go through a lot of stress and anxiety or even worse end up with depression. (Bergland, 2016)  


To conclude, life is to be lived not planned. Based on QuotesGram.com, “The best decisions are made without thinking.” Life is a journey in which we should live to the fullest, enjoy every opportunity, learn from every failure, and forgive ourselves for every bad decision. Sometimes, we need to realize that everything is God’s plan. Every experience that did not go our way is meant to teach us something or another. We should not stress, hold grudges, and let our past mistakes haunt us because that is not how life is supposed to be. In life, learning will always happen until you get old and it is important to make the most out of every moment. Life is a play, it's a drama, sometimes we make a decision without thinking it’s okay, don’t do it the next time. A spontaneous decision should not always be regarded as a bad thing because what if you decided to give your leftover to an unfortunate person on the road, it is not a bad decision.


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Wordcount: 1279



References


Anderer, J. (2020, June 13). Live in the Moment: Spontaneity Could Be Key To Happiness, Survey Suggests. Study Finds; https://www.facebook.com/StudyFindsorg/. https://www.studyfinds.org/spontaneity-key-to-happiness/

Bergland, C. (2016, March 17). How Does Anxiety Short Circuit the Decision-Making Process? | Psychology Today. Psychology Today; Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201603/how-does-anxiety-short-circuit-the-decision-making-process

Cole, S., & Kvavilashvili, L. (2019, December 5). Spontaneous and deliberate future thinking: a dual process account | SpringerLink. Psychological Research; Springer Link. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00426-019-01262-7

digitalhub | Surprising percentage of people feel happier after spontaneous decisions - digitalhub. (2020, June 11). Digitalhub. https://www.swnsdigital.com/2020/06/surprising-percentage-of-people-feel-happier-after-spontaneous-decisions/

Do you have a decision-making style? | Careers - in Theory. (2010, September 7). Careers - in Theory; https://www.facebook.com/WordPresscom. https://careersintheory.wordpress.com/2010/09/07/do-you-have-a-decision-style/

Duczeminski, M. (2015, August 22). 5 Reasons Being Spontaneous Is Such A Great Thing. Lifehack; Lifehack. https://www.lifehack.org/302670/5-reasons-being-spontaneous-such-great-thing



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Landy, D., & Coil, M. (n.d.) Spontaneity Quotes (108 quotes). Goodreads | Meet Your next Favorite Book. Retrieved November 8, 2020, from https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/spontaneity

Li, S. (2013, August 26). Spontaneous Decision Making – A Reasoner’s Miscellany. A Reasoner’s Miscellany; https://www.facebook.com/WordPresscom. https://nargaque.com/2013/08/25/spontaneous-decision-making/

Morewedge, C. K., Giblin, C. E., & Norton, M. I. (2014, May 12). The (Perceived) Meaning of Spontaneous Thoughts -                  Article                        - Harvard Business School. Harvard Business School. https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/item.aspx?num=47179

Nikishado, J. H.-, & Nakajima, H. (2013, May 28). The Dangers Of Impulsive Decision Making - Good Choices Good Life. Good Choices Good Life; Broadview. http://www.goodchoicesgoodlife.org/choices-for-real-life-real-living/the-dangers-of-impulsive-decision-making/

Oppong, T. (2019, June 18). For a More Creative Life, be Spontaneous | by Thomas Oppong | The Startup | Medium. Medium; The Startup. https://medium.com/swlh/for-a-more-creative-life-make-room-for-spontaneity-a90d2daf70a

Pagnoni, G., Cekic, M., & Guo, Y. (2008, September 3). “Thinking about Not-Thinking”: Neural Correlates of Conceptual Processing during Zen Meditation. Home - PLOS; Plos One. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0003083

Pearl, R. (2019, July 23). Decision-making: why smart people make bad choices - Vox. Vox; Vox. https://www.vox.com/2019/7/23/20702987/brain-psychology-making-hard-decisions

Quotes About Being Spontaneous. QuotesGram. (n.d.). QuotesGram. Get Motivated in the Pursuit of Happiness. Retrieved November 8, 2020, from https://quotesgram.com/quotes-about-being-spontaneous/

The Dangers Of Impulsive Decision Making - Good Choices Good Life. (n.d.) Good Choices Good Life. Retrieved November 8, 2020, from http://www.goodchoicesgoodlife.org/choices-for-real-life-real-living/the-dangers-of-impulsive-decision-making/

Vanderkam, L. (2016, August 23). The Surprising Scientific Link Between Happiness And Decision Making. Fast Company; Fast Company. 

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https://www.fastcompany.com/3063066/the-science-backed-way-to-be-happier-by-making-better-choices

Wiggins, G. A., & Bhattacharya, J. (2014, July 24). Mind the gap: an attempt to bridge computational and neuroscientific approaches to study creativity. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience; Frontiers in Human Neuroscience. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2014.00540/full

Yu, R. (n.d.) Stress potentiates decision biases: A stress induced deliberation-to-intuition (SIDI) model - ScienceDirect. ScienceDirect.Com | Science, Health and Medical Journals, Full Text Articles and Books. Retrieved November 8, 2020, from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352289515300187



 

Thursday, November 5, 2020

Day 2 of Exam Season in the Kitchen

 Hey Guys, it's me again. I was craving some sushi and decided to make my own.

For this, I used nori seaweed, mayonnaise, cheese, and salmon. Sorry, it is a bit messy, since it's my first time ever making sushi. The sushi rice is not an ordinary normal rice, you can look for "sushi rice" on Tokopedia too. For the sushi rice, make sure to cook it in sushi seasoning first which you can buy in Tokopedia. Cooking the rice in seasoning will allow it to have some flavor which is a mix of salty, sweet, and savory all together. For the salmon, I don't like it raw so I prefer to marinate it with soy sauce before baking it. It was pretty satisfactory for my first try. Sushi is a convenient meal that does not take so long to make.  Just a bit of background about me, I have actually started baking and cooking 3 years ago. However, ever since quarantine I have just been baking and cooking more. Then university started and I have somewhat been busy with university and now I'm a bit freer because we don't have classes and it's my favourite go-to destress method. I'll share it here when I bake or cook again.

Wednesday, November 4, 2020

Baking as A form of Destress during Exam Season

 Hi Everyone ! Welcome back to my Blog, thank you so much for being interested to read about my life.







Today, I was studying for my Midterms for Introduction to Communication Science. There was honestly, so much to read. It was somewhat interesting and relatable. I somewhat wanted to destress and I did what I always did when I am stressed. I run into the kitchen and bake. I really love baking and I have been really caught up with university that I have not gotten time to bake as much. Why I really love baking during stress times is that when you make bread, you have to bang the dough and hit it on the table and for me, it really helps me release all my frustrations and anxiety which I usually get during the exam season. What I actually made was garlic cheese bread. It was surprisingly soft and melted in the mouth. I look forward to experimenting more breads in the future which I can hopefully share in this blog.
 

Sunday, November 1, 2020

Learning Journey / Reflection

 Hey Guys! Welcome back to my blog!

Quote from: Quote Master


Now that is Midterm Week and we don't have our usual routine classes which we usually have every week, I would like to take time to reflect on myself. The past 7 weeks have been an amazing experience. I had a lot of mixed emotions since it was the start of a university class, which also meant the start of my career journey and the decisions I make will affect the rest of my life. It was not honestly easy, adapting to a new environment. University is really different as compared to high school. University is a more independent study and learning through experience. Over the past 7 weeks, I have tried to step out of my comfort zone, ask questions in class, and participate actively in class discussions. I had difficulties in some of my classes such as photography class which I have never used a camera in my life and it was pretty hard for me to adjust and learn it slowly by slowly, I really wish I can improve my photography class. Over the past 7 weeks, I had so many thoughts and feelings, anxiety, fear, discomfort, and thoughts whether or not I would survive the next semester. 

Writing Fundamentals was one of the most special classes that I had. It was a class that was beyond my expectation. It was a class in which I had developed the confidence to share my writing and own it. At first, I was really scared to write this blog since I thought to myself, "What Would People Think of Me." However, I told myself some comforting words which were "This is for Me Not Them." This class was fun, something I never expected it to be. I thought that this would be a normal English class where there is an awkward silence and all we do is write. To my surprise, it was more of an interactive class, and our lecturer, Mark would often say, "Guys I need to Hear your Voice." We would often have activities in break out rooms where we would chit chat and work at the same time, it also increased our bond as a class.  We also would have all those crazy background themes just to have an aesthetic class picture. I also really improved my creativity from one of the classes when we had to make an infographic presentation and it forced me to be creative in choosing a topic. I also learned to deal with rejection when Mark kept on saying no to our ideas and we had to change our idea about 6 times. 

Overall, the past 7 weeks have been a stepping stone for me and quite an interesting learning journey for me. I look forward to writing more and sharing more about my academic journey as well as my life. 

Stay Safe and Healthy Everyone ! 
Sudiksha Budhrani




Wednesday, October 28, 2020

Last Day of Writing Fundamentals Class


Hey Guys, it's me again Sudiksha. Welcome back to my blog. So today is actually the last day of class of Writing Fundamentals. The story behind this picture was that my class wanted to feel like they were in French and it was the last day of class before Halloween, so since we had a wacky teacher, to begin with why not do something crazy and post it. I absolutely love how we are so close as a class although we have not seen each other face to face. Pretty sad right? I'm gonna miss Mark's humor and this crazy bunch of peps! I might not be posting anything academic for the next few weeks since I have Mid Exams and I need to focus on them, however, I will be posting more fun stuff like cooking recipes and other stuff related to my life okay? Stay safe and Healthy! I hope I will be able to post more of my writing after Midterms.

Newspaper Writing Tips and Tricks

Hey Guys, it's me again. Last week we actually learned about newspaper writing, mostly the technical stuff. There was so much theory and it was kind of boring learning all the technical stuff. To be honest, I was really surprised that Mark could be a serious teacher and it surely was one of our more memorable classes.  What surprised me the most was that on that special day of class my teacher, Mark was like guys get your notebooks and start taking notes that day I honestly thought "Yay, a serious class for once." However, I knew it would be useful for me, I won't share everything I learned here because it will bore you guys off. It was also the first time I had 10 pages of notes for a particular class all written in one day.

    Parts Of A Newspaper

Source: What every marketer must know about the inverted pyramid for content writing. (2020, July 3). Yaagneshwaran Ganesh. https://www.yaagneshwaran.com/blog/inverted-pyramid-content-writing/

Thank you so much guys ! 
Stay Safe and Healthy! 

Sudiksha Budhrani

Sunday, October 25, 2020

Social Campaign Video



 Hi Guys ! It's me again, Sudiksha.. Today I am posting my photography & videography class assignment which is to make a social media campaign for a social issue. The issue that seemed to touch my heart the most was poverty and seeing how many people have lost their jobs especially due to the covid-19 pandemic has really touched my heart. I hope that you learn something from my video and try to spread kindness however you can because every small little act is can mean so much to another person.

I hope you guys stay safe and healthy ! 

Sudiksha Budhrani

Friday, October 23, 2020

Hi Everyone! It is me again Sudiksha, below was actually my essay for one of my assignments for communication science class specifically. I hope you guys have fun reading it and learn something from it !!! Stay safe and healthy Everyone !  

 

Introduction to Communication Science (COMM 6100)


Topic: Conflict Communication & Verbal Abuse in a Romantic Relationship


Lecturer: Ms. Lily El Ferawati, B.Arts, PH.D.


By: Sudiksha Ajit Lachman / 2440043811


What is Communication? 

Have you ever been confused about how to improve or move further in your relationship?  

In my essay, I would be explaining how communication works in interpersonal relationships, defining interpersonal communication, principles involved in communication, and how to handle relationships. I would also explain what is relational conflict, offer a case study on this topic and the opinions offered online as well as my take on the issues offered. 


Communication is the act of transferring a message and can be done between people or between groups. There are 4 forms of communication which are verbal communication, non-verbal communication, written communication, and visual communication. Verbal communication can be face-to-face interactions or through social media in the form of a phone call or television. Non-Verbal Communication is portrayed through your actions. It is often shown through your gestures, your facial expression, how you dress, the artifacts you use ex: jewelry and watch. Written communication is a message conveyed in a form of writing usually in the media could be as an Instagram post or as an article in an online newspaper. Visual communication is sending a message by showing it to you and making you imagine it, can be in a form of tables, graphs, charts, or even pictures and videos. (2011-2020, n.d.).


Communication is a very fast process, however, it is a very complex process. (How the Communication Process Works | Communication Training, n.d.)

Based on the diagram there are 8 stages of communication.

1. Sender: usually the person that starts a conversation and the person that wants to talk.

2. Message: what is usually being communicated, the information that wants to be spread. 

3. Encoding: the crafting of the message and how it is sent to the other person.

4. Medium: the instrument used to send information across to another person. 

5. Receiver: the person who receives the message and tries to understand the message.

6. Decoding: a process in which how the information is broken down in the receiver’s mind. 

7. Feedback: a person’s reply to the message and a start of the communication cycle all over again.

8. Noise: the disruption of the information that is being sent from one person to the next. This is what can cause the message to not be heard clearly or understood accordingly. There are 4 types of noise: psychological, physical, environmental, and semantic. Psychological noise is the voice of your head because of your personal experiences in the past. Physical voice is a real voice that you can hear and that can be heard, for example, the music that is too loud in the background. An example of an environmental voice is traffic or the sound of cars honking. Semantic noise is when there is a difficulty in the transfer of a message, for example, another person is talking something too deep that you cannot relate to or understand. (How the Communication Process Works | Communication Training, n.d.)



(Made using keynote)

The first principle of communication is that it is unavoidable, as social beings it is  impossible for us to not talk with another person at all. (Kellog, 2017)

The second principle of communication is that it is irreversible. Once you say something, you cannot take your words back.  “Every communication event is likely to have influences on all future communication events.” (Kreps, 2011. p 14). This is why we should tell ourselves a message so that we know how another person will feel before saying it to another person. Sometimes, when we do not realize what we say can make a damage to another person which will affect the way they look at us or talk to us. (Xiong, 9 C.E.)

The third principle of communication is that it is complicated. It is a fast process but there is a process on how it takes place. Based on the illustration earlier, different people will think and understand differently making communication difficult. Different people also have different viewpoints and opinions which is usually affected by their past experiences. (Kellog, 2017)

The fourth principle of communication is that it is contextual. The setting and environment affect how communication takes place. (The Contextual Model of Interethnic Communication. From... | Oxford Research Encyclopedias, n.d.)

Being in a relationship might be nice but it is not like a bed of roses. There will be some ups and downs, there will be times when you might have fights of disagreements with your partner. Based on Managing the Pressures of a Relationship | Romantic Relationships | ReachOut Australia, n.d.,  some suggestions might help you keep your relationship afloat. There are two types of pressure that can happen in a relationship which are internal and external pressures. Internal pressure is a problem because of the age difference, maybe like one is older and hence more mature than the other partner. To add, another example is jealousy, for example when the girl is clingy because she knows the guy has other female friends which might also be pretty. There are also external pressures which are problems which are outside of the conflict of the relationship itself, sometimes it can be your parents or friends which are not happy with your relationship, sometimes it's financial problems or disease. 

How to Keep a Relationship Afloat / Manage a Relationship

Based on Managing the Pressures of a Relationship | Romantic Relationships | ReachOut Australia, n.d., There are 6 things that you can do to keep your relationship going: is talking to your partner, learn to adapt to the situation, make your partner feel loved, get a fresh perspective, look for solutions when you have calmed down and lastly respect your differences. 

Firstly, no matter how well you think your partner knows you they cannot read your mind and heart. Thus, you need to explain to them in words. (Managing the Pressures of a Relationship | Romantic Relationships | ReachOut Australia, n.d.) yiuaopujo (Sidawi, 2016). Don’t let simple arguments pass because it will slowly build up over time. This will lead to simple problems making you get angry and escalate to bigger arguments. Besides, you can also use “ I ” when you tell your partner your feelings because it will make them feel less accused of something. (5 Communication Tips to Try with Your Partner | Relate, n.d.)

Secondly, sometimes the situation might not be in your favour, this is when you have to discuss with your partner about what would be best for both of you. (Managing the Pressures of a Relationship | Romantic Relationships | ReachOut Australia, n.d.). One of the biggest obstacles to keeping a relationship afloat is a hedonic adaptation, it is human nature to adjust to something that we are so used to. This is why people are so happy at the beginning of the relationship but overtime lose appreciation for the simple things. What can help is adding surprise and variety to your life like trying something new for example but make sure to keep your budget in mind too? (Breines, 2014).

Thirdly, you should make your partner feel loved and not make them suspect that you are cheating on them. You don’t have to spend so much money or get them a good present. Just simple text messages and gestures of care and love are enough. (Managing the Pressures of a Relationship | Romantic Relationships | ReachOut Australia, n.d.). Try to do one nice thing for them every day and can be as simple as getting them their favorite food during a sale. Also, you can give your partner full attention when they are telling you how their day went. Don’t use your phone because it simply shows that  you are not interested. (9 Ways To Make Your Significant Other Feel Special | Families for Life, n.d.)

Fourthly, getting a fresh perspective can be helpful sometimes like talking to a close friend or family. (Managing the Pressures of a Relationship | Romantic Relationships | ReachOut Australia, n.d.). Getting a new perspective or idea not only helps your relationship grow but also you as a person. The world is evolving, you need to learn new things because otherwise you will be left out. Because the new strategy might bring a new positive outcome for you and your partner which you never knew about before. (25 Ways To Have A Fresh Perspective - Carrie Colbert, 2019).


In addition, it is better to look for situations when you have calmed down rather than when you have a temper. You can also have a cool off, which means you give your partner space to cool down and think. After you both are ready, you can talk about whether to find solutions to the problem or to end it if the problem is too complex or if the tension is too hard. (Abdul, 2020).  

Lastly, you and your partner should respect each other’s differences, like their family backgrounds, beliefs, and religion. Based on the philosopher Kant, “Respect is a feeling you have about someone, but it's also the way you behave and express yourself regarding that person.“ (Jaehnig, 2018). If you love someone, you will respect them because you value them so much that you want them to feel safe around you and you accept their imperfections and love how they truly are. (Jaehnig, 2018).

 


Image from : Pinterest (24 Tips for Positive Conflict | Men vs Women, Conflict Resolution, Relationship, n.d.)



What is Relational Conflict ?

“Relationship conflict is a conflict resulting from either personality clashes or negative emotional interactions between two or more people.” (Relationship Conflict and Management: Definition & Resolution Strategies - Video & Lesson Transcript | Study.Com, n.d.). Based on Shoba Sreenivasan, Ph.D., and Linda E. Weinberger, Ph.D. which are emotional nourishment specialists “It’s hard to have a meaningful association with another and not have opposing viewpoints or opinions, at least occasionally. How the individuals express their dissents is important in assessing the impact of the conflict.” Additionally, knowing how to deal with conflict is important since it allows us to build a mutual understanding for both parties and also brings people closer together once resolved properly. Knowing how to deal with conflict can make it easier for couples to voice out opinions and disagreements respectfully, which causes them to be more open to the significant other and when they have kids it can be a good example for the kids to follow later on. (Sreenivasan Ph.D. & Weinberger Ph.D., n.d.).

Based to Gary Gilles who is a clinical professional counselor, “conflict is a part of everyday life and relationship but it depends on how you manage it ”, in his article he gave some advice which can be useful in resolving conflict. (Gilles, LCPC, n.d.). He said that the first tip to help solve conflict is empathy. When there is some sort of negativity between you and your partner there is a wall in your communication which makes it hard for both of you to talk. One of the tips by Dr. Garry is statements that inform your partner about your feelings. An example is I feel sad that you are so busy with work nowadays and it makes me feel that you do not have time for me. Another tip is trying to listen to your partner but do not ask yes or no questions but instead questions which they can explain. For instance, I notice you have not been yourself lately, do you mind explaining your feelings to me so I can understand you better. The last tip from Dr. Garry is helping your partner know you better. From what I understand from his article, I think “self-exposure” to your partner is important.So you expose yourself to your partner but in terms of beliefs, values, religious beliefs and morals so that it reduces your relational conflict which is usually caused by a clash in beliefs. (Gilles, LCPC, n.d.) 


On the contrary, Dr. Garry has also shared some things which you should not do when dealing with conflict. Dr. Garry said that you should not be analytical because it shows that you know more than the other person, it also just clearly shows your ego and wanting to win against the other person instead of trying to work together and understanding each other to solve the problem together. Dr. Garry also said that you should not attempt to advise because you might be wrong, sometimes you are not a genius and you do not know everything. Oftentimes, humans want to be shown love and that you understand them and you care for them in times of conflict not you scolding them and policing them with advice on what they should have done. (Gilles, LCPC, n.d.). 


Moreover, conflicts usually happen because of mood and incorrect timing. Sometimes when people are facing a problem and they are not in the mood to talk but sometimes you do not notice and you might say something which might trigger another person. This is why it is advisable to look at the situation and you need to be very careful in how you deliver a message so that the other person or your partner knows that you have their best interest in mind. (Plocharczyk & P. Forgas, 2017).


 What is Verbal Abuse?

Image source 1: (Verbal Abuse Hurts Too    Image source 2: (What Is Verbal Abuse?, Childern - Kompasiana.Com, 2019).                             Angela Lambert, 2014).


Verbal Abuse hurts a lot and the effects can be long-lasting. Verbal abuse is a form of attacking someone’s emotions by using harsh words, certain types of irresponsible behavior, and body language which makes the person undergo emotional breakdown or stress. The abuser will always make you feel like it is your mistake or your fault even though it's not. The abuser will usually make fun of your feelings and find ways to make you feel bad about yourself. (What Is Verbal Abuse? Angela Lambert, 2014).

Verbal Abuse Case Study

This picture shows a verbally abusive husband which is verbally abusive towards the kids. Source: The Family Matters Law Group (Harris, 2018).


Based on the source above, the woman was a victim of verbal abuse. The victim/ woman was often verbally abused and also faced harassment. The husband often made her feel small and made her feelings not matter. Sometimes he would even verbally abuse the wife in front of the child which can affect the child’s thinking when she grows up. In addition, he also had affairs with other women all at the same time. The situation got out of hand and divorce had to occur. In the end, there were also arguments regarding the property after the divorce and the abusive husband also wanted to still be a half-parent of the child even after separation. (Harris, 2018). 

Proposed Solution and Opinion on the Issue:

There are 5 things that you can do based on my readings from Kelly Hollie’s article. She said that you cannot beg your partner to change but what you can do is change your perspective on how you respond to the situation. (Holly, n.d.) Firstly, the victim should be more aware of the situation, specifically what is happening, what the victim believes is happening, and the victim's feelings after the event. Secondly, the victim should know the difference between unhealthy and healthy negative emotions. If the partner can create healthy negative emotions so like she knows she is being abused but she tries ways to “see the light in the darkness” so she finds ways to keep herself busy and occupied so that she does not feel so hurt even if the situation is painful. Thirdly, the victim needs to know how they can stop hurting themself further or the boundary of the situation. I think it is important for the victim to have critical skills, be able to judge the situation, and know the possible points of the trigger. For instance, if a wife who is a victim of verbal abuse notices that her husband is tired from work, she can maybe give him space because she is mindful that anything she says in this kind of situation can lead to him saying harsh words or start verbally abusing her. Fourthly, find support and talk to your loved ones, now is not the time for you to be ashamed and isolate yourself further. If you are alone you are more likely to be crushed, end up with depression, anxiety, and emotional distress. As social beings, having someone that has your back some for you to cry on really makes you feel better. Lastly, if the situation is right, find some ways to talk to the abuser. At this point, it is the victim’s choice to do what next after she has tried steps 1- 4. 

My personal opinion on this issue is that verbal abuse is not a choice, it's something unfortunate that just happens to you. To me, if you are in a verbally abusive relationship you need to be critical and it is really how the victim chooses to react to the situation that can either make or break the relationship. Moreover, you have to be mindful of the situation, try to understand the possible triggers or reasons that your partner might be behaving abusively towards you. For me, trying to be emphasized in the situation even if you are the one hurt will not cause more trouble. It is also really important to have the support of your friends and family and talk to them. Maybe their advice can help you look at the situation differently or make you feel better after letting your heart out. I also believe that abusive relationships are real and it is not a taboo and that there is something we can do about it. I think that the victim should also be able to choose how much they can take and they need to be able to decide whether they have had enough and want to leave or they still want to find ways to make the relationship work.


References

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